Bart's Reminiscences
by Stranger2424
Summary: Set in the future, two kids are fed up with listening to their grandfather's stories. But maybe there's a reason their dad keeps dragging them to the nursing home every week.


**I know that eventually the Simpsons will end. Here's my idea of what the last scene should be. I think it can explain away all the continuity issues and address why so many fans stuck with the series all this time. Hope you enjoy it.**

Year 2074:

There are some things that kids will never find interesting no matter when they were born. At the top of the list are homework, politics and the ramblings of an adult. When you add in the fact that the adult was prone to using outdated references or repeating himself, and had a funky odor, the situation became unbearable.

It was in this situation two young children, a blonde, blue-eyed boy and a brunette green-eyed girl, found themselves; listening to their grandfather Bart Simpson telling stories about his childhood, which apparently lasted for 25 years if all the stories actually took place. And he still wasn't done…

"And that's how me and your great-grandpa Homer narrowly escaped being murdered by Fat Tony…again. A few days later, I saw old Sudsley in a new Duff commercial for seven-beer-six-packs. During a Modern Family re-run I think. Maggie loved that show. Think she even made her own version of the opening using family photos. Still remember when she used to put everything in her mouth. Why this one time…" Bart trailed off as he dozed to sleep.

The kids looked at each other in shock.

"Oh, THANK GOD! We're finally free."

"Let's bail."

The kids leapt up from the sofa and bolted for the door. But just as they were about to reach the handle, it started to turn. When the door opened into the room, the kids slammed into it.

"Oh jeez, are you two OK?" asked a middle-aged man. His resemblance to his father was uncanny. If it weren't for that fact that his hair was curly instead of in spikes, he could pass for a clone of Bart.

"Fine Dad. Grandpa fell asleep and we were just leaving," the daughter replied.

"Kind of in a hurry aren't you?" the father asked while raising an eyebrow.

"Look, it's nothing personal. We've been cooped up all day listening to Grandpa's stories. His long, nonsensical, confusing stories about his childhood. We just had our fill and wanted to get out, NOW!" the son explained.

"Yeah. No offense but I've had my fill of ramblings about the 90s, 2000s and 2010s."

The father frowned. He knew that his father had a bad tendency to ramble or over-reference popular movies, songs or trends from his childhood. Sometimes he didn't even end or stay on the same story he started with. But still, telling these stories were his highlight of the family visits to the retirement home. Bart hardly ever got to see his only living family members as it was.

"Kids, I get it. But is it really that bad to listen to your grandfather?"

The daughter sighed. "Not at first. I mean, his stories used to be really funny and, you know, made us smile at the end. He looked so happy telling us about Aunt Lisa, Aunt Maggie, Uncle Milhouse and everyone else."

"Yeah! I almost felt like I really knew those guys. And most of his adventures seemed realistic, at least enough that we could accept them as true."

"But now, his stories are all over the place. He focuses too much on trying to make stupid quick jokes."

"Plus, the longer he talks, the more I dislike the characters. I mean, seriously, Grandpa sounds like a sociopath in some of these stories. Aunt Lisa is better, but she also seems really arrogant and condescending. Was she really like that?"

"Well, uh, you see, sometimes…" the father mumbled out.

"Our great-grandparents sound even worse; at least grandpa and aunt Lisa were kids at the time. Half the time granny Marge is nice, half the time she seems to get angry for no reason. And grandpa Homer? He sounds like he should have been in jail until the day he died! Why would Grandpa think we'd find his stories enjoyable or funny?" she practically screamed, her voice having steadily risen during her criticism.

"Kids! I'm pretty sure your grandfather was exaggerating. From what I remember, Grandpa Homer was much nicer than he was portrayed as. Though I guess he may have mellowed out with age, and sobriety."

The son then spoke up again. "Even without the character exaggeration, Grandpa Bart seems to put in celebrities who we've never heard of, yet he expects us to know them. Who on Earth were Krusty the Clown and Seth Rogen?"

The daughter scoffed. "It's better than when he says he met people we do know. Gerald Ford, George Bush, Bill Clinton, Neil Gaiman… I mean come on. Does he really expect us to believe that he met three former presidents and the 21st century Shakespeare?"

"And finally, he references us about these movies and TV shows no one cares about. I mean, he told us about Modern Family. Who cares about that? I'll have to look it up on Wikipedia just to know what the Hell it was."

The girl suddenly turned to look at her brother with a smug grin. "Really? Wikipedia? How much time did you waste trying to find that old site? You look it up on your iPhone 32?"

"Hey, shut up! If you need to get information on old stuff, you use old references. Everyone knows that, you stuck-up nerch," he mumbled under his breath.

"Don't call me a nerch, flax-head."

As his children fought, the father put his hand in his head as he tried to think of a way to get them to understand why it was so important to listen to their grandfather.

_OK, try and think about it from their perspective. I have an old guy who's telling me boring stories about people and things that died before I was born. Why should I care about that? Hmmm, how would I feel about listening to Grandpa Homer's stories?_

Suddenly, he looked up. He knew exactly how to explain the situation to his kids.

"Kids, can you stop arguing for just a second? I have something important to tell you both."

The children, who at this point were wrestling on the floor, glanced up at their father. Mutually agreeing to postpone the fight until later that night, they disbanded and turned their attention to their father.

"I get where you're coming from. When he was alive, I had to spend a lot of time listening to your great-grandpa Homer, and trust me, he may have been worse than your grandfather. I don't think he realized how often he just stared off daydreaming about food. I remember he once spent twenty minutes drooling over Duff beer… or was it Buzz Cola… or donuts…"

"DAD!"

The father sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry. Rambling runs in the family I guess.

"Anyways, while I did enjoy some parts of Homer's stories, most of the other times I just waited for the clock to hit five so that visiting hours would end. The minute we were in the car, I would whine until my face turned blue about how bad visiting my grandfather was.

"And then one day, he died. It wasn't unexpected; actually it was amazing he managed to outlive Granny Marge. But still, I was shaken. I mean, he was always a part of my life. Once a week, I would see him, he would bore me, I would complain, rinse, wash, repeat. But then, he was gone.

"And here's the amazing part. Even now, when I look back on those days, the only things I really remember are the good parts of his stories. I remember the funny stories he told me about his many jobs. I remember the triumph in his eyes as he told me about his greatest accomplishments, like climbing the Springfield Murderhorn. I remember the tenderness in his voice as he described his wedding and the birth of his kids. If I try hard, I can remember some of the worse stories, but there not the ones I can recite with ease."

The father then knelt down and put his hands on his children's shoulders. "That's why we keep visiting your grandfather and why I want you to listen to his stories. These stories are all you guys are gonna get of your great-grandparents and your grandfather's sisters. Pay attention to the man telling the stories and you'll see just how much each one affected him. Those are the moments that you'll never forget.

"And please, try to remember that one day you may not get to hear these stories anymore. I think you'll miss them when they stop. So don't focus on the movie references. Focus on the characters your grandfather has come to make you care about. If you do, I think you will be surprised on occasion."

"Hmm, whattsit, YAH!" Everyone in the room jumped. Bart quickly looked around the room before his eyes stopped over his family by the door. "Oh, you're leaving already? I guess visiting hours are over." He laughed and gave a strained smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Oh well, I guess there's next week. Can't wait"

The kids looked at each other from the corner of their eyes. They knew there was only one thing for them to do.

"Actually, Grandpa since you're awake, we'd love to hear another story if you feel up to it," the daughter said as she sat back down on the couch.

Bart looked up in surprise. "Re…Really?"

"Yeah. You were just telling us about the time you and Great-Grandpa Homer managed to breed Fat Tony's horse," the son said as he focused on the old man.

Bart's smile grew a little wider and a lot brighter at those words. His eyes even started to sparkle. "Well, you know, there was a little more to that story."

As the father watched his grandfather regale his children with stories about the past, he leaned back against the door. True, visiting hours were almost up and another busy week would start before they could come back again next Sunday. Still, he didn't know how much longer these visits could occur. All too often, there were weeks or even months where they had to cancel a visit due to his work, the children's activities or even his father's health problems. But still, as long as he could still come in and sit with his father for a few minutes every week while he spun another outrageous story, he would. Most of the time, he was still able to get a chuckle out of the story, even if it was only one.

"Soon after that, your great-grandpa got really interested in his Lego toys. Loved 'em, especially cause he could do it with Lisa. Now, back then, the Lego Movie had come and gone, but your great-grandpa always was a bit behind the times…"

**I don't think the message here was exactly subtle, but hopefully, it will still ring true.**


End file.
